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Posts Tagged ‘thankfulness’

Hola…it’s been a little while since I did one of these.   After trick or treating tonight, J and C came in and were discussing their loot, we had to fill Big Daddy in on the past and the candy wars.  My children were actually yelled at and their candy was taken from them by my ex…yes, a grown man taking the kids candy, and getting mad if they hid it from him (since they knew his M.O.) and told him no.  I kid you not.  I was going to blog about that, but I don’t want to paint him out to be the ass he was, or devote that much time to him.  So, I read this question and decided it was proper for tonight.

I’m torn on this one, between being honest on paper (blog post) and just letting it go without mention.  It seems that even if I’m not comfortable enough to “air my dirty laundry” that it at least makes me think to myself and face what it is I’m mulling through my head when one of these questions asks something that I’d rather not talk about.  So, with that, I’ll be as vague as possible.  I also don’t really feel the need to relive this kinda crap, or mull it over, I don’t want to waste time think about the past.  No good will come from me rehashing what an ass he was (even though it’s fun sometimes to point out how much of an ass he was/is).

Who baked that pie?

It’s hard to actually admit when you are in the middle of something how bad it is,  we are (or should be) programmed to run as far away as possible.  However, most of us, women and men, in relationships, tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, make excuses, or be a martyr for “the greater good.”  When the greater good is a marriage many things can be overlooked, or forgiven, or “evened out” (he does ____, but he’s a hard worker) to make it seem like things aren’t where they are…which is in the shitter (sorry there’s no eloquent way to put that).  Problem is, he’s made the commitment to you to be a husband, to love, honor, cherish, provide, nurture and protect you – when did his job/income earn the right to have more respect and care than you?  I’m getting off track.  It’s not about the job, or the respect of the job, that’s just a little piece of the BS pie you’re being served.  His argument – “who cares if I don’t treat you right, I make great money, and hold a job, and bought you a great house, now shut up and bring me a drink.”  Better be careful lest you get a special drink one day.

So, yes, to answer the question, someone has made my life hell, treated me like shit, treated me like no one deserves to be treated.  I wasn’t beat, or hit, never anything done to me where I was in danger physically.  Emotionally, you don’t realize how bad off you are until you get away from those that put you down, control you, and don’t have your best interests in mind.

Big Daddy and his girls

On a side-note to this question, I would not be where I am had this person not treated me like crap, and played it out to the point that made me say enough is enough.  For that, I’d live it a million times over to get to where I am now.  Not that I want to return, but if I knew through that BS what was waiting for me on the other side, I would have thanked God a lot sooner for bringing me through it.  I would have thanked him while I was dealing with it.  We never know where the journey ends (or begins in my case), but we should always trust that it’s a better place and God knows much more about what he’s doing than we do.

To him:  thanks for being an asshole, the truth of your words, thoughts, actions and heart proved what you were worth…your money couldn’t purchase the amazing love and life I have now.

~Mel

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