I’m back with another great husband and wife! If you haven’t read previous Marriage Works posts just click here for the ones you missed (there’s even one about me and Big Daddy). I had someone ask what the purpose of these couple highlights are. Her actual question was “why do you keep posting happy couples – is it to make the rest of us feel bad?” No, that’s not why. Not everyone is happy all the time. Most of us are, most of us know that marriage takes work to work, and it’s not always easy, or smooth. In fact, just the other morning Big Daddy and I had it out over shoes…and attitudes. Arguments, disagreements, being upset or anything that happens day to day is normal and doesn’t mean that we aren’t happy, it just means we’re normal. The purpose of these is for everyone else to see that all couples have issues or problems, but those don’t outweigh the good. For the couples answering, I can say that it’s fun to read what your spouse says (I ask that you answer separately) and it can help open up a dialogue for things that you haven’t addressed. I’m not here to comment on, or suggest fixes for the answers, this is just a window for other couples to peek into. On to our Marriage Works couple!
This post is our first one where both husband and wife have answered, and as always, they don’t have to answer any questions they don’t want to. Today we have Jeremy (37) and Kristy (32) answering some questions and giving us a peek into their marriage. They dated for 5 months, were engaged for 8 months and have been married for 5 years. They are both Christians and Jeremy is a new Christian – that deserves an Amen! Their home dynamic allows Kristy to stay at home where she cares for their 2 girls and also watches a little boy while Jeremy works about 50-60 hours a week. They are busy.
Now let’s see how they each answer!
How did you meet, what was your first impression of your spouse (both physical and personality)?
Kristy – He was so handsome. We met online. I loved his personality, he was hard working and family was important to him.
Jeremy – we met online. I was the one who emailed her, I loved her Smile and she was very pretty and funny.
How long after meeting did you know they were “the one”?
Kristy – I knew he was the one just from talking on the phone for weeks before we actually met.
Jeremy -I knew she was the one from the first time we out on a date.
Tell me about an instance when your spouse made you proud.
Kristy -When he got baptized.
Jeremy-The way she is a mother to our girls.
List 2 physical qualities you love about your spouse.
Kristy – eyes and beard 🙂
Jeremy- hair and smile
Describe 3 ways your spouse shows you love/respect/care on a regular basis.
Kristy – works hard, he holds the door open for me, and he gives me kisses
Jeremy – always make sure to say I love you first and last thing, having dinner ready, and she always gets my meds.
Describe your last date with your spouse.
We went to see dirty dancing at the DPAC. We went to an Italian restaurant and went to toys r us before the show.
If you could go back with all the knowledge you have…what advice would you give to your “before married” self about your spouse/marriage?
Kristy- make sure to stand up for yourself
Jeremy- only spend money you have
Do you practice submission in your marriage? Why or why not? Did your vows include “obey”? What does submission generally look like in your marriage?
Kristy- yes we had obey. I think I try to submit myself to him but it’s hard when it involves our children. He hasn’t yet to take the spiritual head of household. He’s getting there but we have awhile for him to get there. I need to submit more to him.
How often do you pray or study together?
Daily. Study not yet.
How has being a Christian helped your marriage?
I think we give our problems to God, versus fighting about it.
What is your personal biggest weakness?
Kristy – letting go. I dwell on things he doesn’t do.
Jeremy- Quick to get angry.
How do you try to control it in your marriage?
Kristy- I just bite my tongue.
Jeremy- Just go outside to walk it off.
What is/was your most disagreed upon topic as a couple? How do you handle it when it comes up?
How have you resolved it, or made changes to smooth things over?
Most disagreements are on how to discipline. We sometimes wait to the girls go to bed. I think because I am home with them it’s easier for me to discipline our oldest because I know how to calm her down. He tries to handle her the same way I do but we are still working on this because he doesn’t quite understand how to get on her level to talk to her.
How satisfied are you with your intimate time and the frequency?
Kristy – I am but I waited 26 years and I honestly could wait more.
Jeremy- no, I def want it more than I get it.
How do you keep this positive and on track, or what are you doing to improve this?
Kristy- I have to just do it. I am so tired at the end of the day I just want to sleep.
What is your favorite advice given to you about marriage/spouses?
Don’t go to bed angry. Put God first.
Where will your marriage/spouse be in 10 years? Describe what you’d like or your goals.
Happy, God centered, I would love to be debt free, more in love.
I love the honesty here. It’s not easy to admit where you are falling short, or where there is room for improvement (just ask my husband how easy it is for me). I also can totally relate to being tired and feeling like sleep is a better option than sex. Here’s hoping we all get past this baby/toddler stage quickly!