This is a rant…I wanted to say it, and it’s just the way it came out. Reading someone’s thoughts and opinions is a privilege and should be exercised with common sense and extreme caution by those who cannot handle it well.
While I realize that blogging is a choice, and I am allowing my thoughts and opinions to be “out there” – where is the line of decency/privacy/common sense? Where do we go from getting thoughts out to bashing others, or defamation? At what point does it become a show of what we SHOULD like, think, want, experience and less of who we are for real because we have to mince words to please others or to not upset them?
In the last few weeks it’s been hard for me not to blog about what’s going on in our lives. D is dealing with custody issues and we are looking at a long road of recovery be it B (his daughter) or him. They are both in critical situations, and both in need of healing. Which one is going to get that much needed healing is yet to be determined. The ride so far has been stressful, sad and shows no signs of where it is going next. With all that said, I’ve done fairly well with keeping my thoughts to myself (and not on my blog) about people involved in this and how utterly evil they are. It’s hard. Yes, it’s my blog, yes it’s all my opinion, my thoughts, and yes, I TRY to speak and think with love, but we are all human and no matter how much you pray, you still have your opinion. I’m doing all I can not to put my true opinion of things out there. I don’t want to in any way hinder the chance that B can be helped. So, I haven’t said much about it. It saddens me that what we’re going through cannot be brought to light so others (and there are hundreds) can recognize the signs. Had D been warned or had the chance to read a blog with the telltale signs like we are seeing now, he may have been able to keep B from having to endure this. Live and learn. I do plan to blog about that situation in a responsible way, which will be to educate others without expressly pointing fingers.
It’s stressful to hold on to all these things, and yet have a place where I can get them out. A place I created to help me work through things and get them out of my head, to help me heal, and deal. I feel that it’s both my right (which it is) to speak my mind, and anyone else’s right to do the same. If someone disagrees, or feels that I’ve painted them in a bad light (even with no identifying names) then either they should make their own blog to dispel my portrayal, or act differently so as not to be perceived in a bad light. On the other side, I have been wrong *GASP* and if it’s on my blog for all to see, there’s a
slim chance that from the comments or feedback of others I may see things from a different point of view.
On the privacy issue…I have people that read my thoughts that aren’t so much forbidden or unwanted, but that have found it because they are nosy or through less than ideal ways. I always knew this was a possibility and in fact, started my blog and made sure that it was anonymous (other than those that know us from seeing pictures) from the beginning. No one can identify my ex’s, D’s ex’s, our children, or anyone in general, from any information given via my blog. I did it for a reason, this reason – so I can freely speak my mind, good, bad, happy, sad, opinion, observation, right or wrong. I wanted to be able to let those that piss me off know that they did, I wanted to talk about what I’ve learned in many years of good and bad marriages. I want to talk about my kids and how great or how annoying they are. I wanted to create a place for feedback and conversation about everything whether it’s agreed on or not. That is what I’ve created:) It goes without saying that those that KNOW me or our family already know the stories and what we all feel and think about people in our lives. Having it on a blog, or in print doesn’t any further damage/or create a defamatory light on what my friend might know I already think about another friend, or something of the like.
I have a choice, to put things on “paper,” to tell what details about people or situations I wish to divulge, I have the options in my settings to allow this to be public (search engines), private (just those I give the link to) or closed (password protected). I have chosen to put things on paper, I have chosen not to use names and no identifying statements on the WHO when I talk about my family or people I know/knew, and I have chosen to allow my blog to be open. I want to share things I’ve been through and to have feedback and be able to hear other opinions. Yes, it’s my blog, but what good is it if it’s just me and no input?
So, whether you were invited here, found me on a search engine, heard from a friend, or are reading because you are nosy and feel the need to spy…welcome. I’ll be here all year (and the ones to come).