This one was so hard it took 2 weeks to come up with an answer. I kid, I kid.
In a conversation with an old new friend the other day I was told something I’ve heard many times over the years. She said:
“I am tired and this year either I turn to apathy or I step up to be comfortable with my thoughts and feelings – not every one else’s. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? All that to say, I admire that you don’t have that struggle.”
She was very eloquent and I said to her “that’s the nice way of saying ‘you’re a bitch Mel…I admire that.'” She laughed and said that she didn’t think that at all. Our conversation continued with my explanation:
“I used to be proud of that, and not hesitate to speak my mind, but it’s like we talked about before, 9 out of 10 times you don’t have to say anything, people make asses of themselves – with no effort at all on your part. I stopped calling people out and just started passively ignoring the offense and they tend to take care of themselves. Either they are so “offended” that I don’t engage in the game that they don’t want to talk to me anymore, or they end up realizing friendship is more important and stop the behavior. Either way, I’m free from having to show my ass, and therefore a LOT less stressed.”
I had much less eloquently stated the same point in a previous conversation with this same friend:
“I’ve learned lots, I don’t let things like that get to me, silence is golden, and quite scary to some people. I’m very calm and quite a “lady” when it comes to people that piss me off. It takes a lot of restraint, but it’s worth it to see how much of an A$& people can make of themselves without you having to lift a finger.”
So, people seem to admire and compliment me on caring enough…but not enough to put up with BS. Which I think, is a good quality trait. I have, in the past, cared too much for people that obviously did not give a crap about me. So, to be commended on standing up for myself is quite a feat.
I am proud to be who I am, and I make no apologies for those that can’t get their act together. We all make our own choices and some of us should choose better.