I’m already scared. My first instinct is to say my hair, but that would be very shallow of me. Next thought is my butt…again, shallow (but true, it’s great). I could venture to say that my uncanny ability to not give a crap is what I love about myself, but that’s misleading. I do give a crap, I just choose not to let you know it.
Here goes. It’s my blog, I can say what I want.
I love that I am fairly normal. I’m not going to get into how messed up my life has been, or who’s screwed me over (that would be one long post), or what crap I’ve gotten myself into/has come at me. If I did get into all that, you’d be bored and I’d get depressed.
I will say that I’ve had more than one occasion in which it would have been no surprise to anyone around me had I decided to:
- run away to a place where no one could find me
- slash a tire and throw a brick
- invest in a gun and use it
- lose it and be admitted
- write a book about it and not mince words (I still wanna do this one)
I, being the strong woman I am (hush), decided to keep on trucking. I picked myself up, sometimes with the help of others, and sometimes in spite of others, and kept going. Sometimes I had everything at my disposal, and other times nothing. One of my major faults (there may be more than one) is that I am not good at displaying my emotions. Most of the reason I’ve made it to where I am today in one piece is that I am good at not displaying my emotions. I get done what has to be done, and deal with the specifics later…or never, whatever.
I try to get to know people, what makes them tick, why they are who they are, what bothers them, and in doing so, I’ve learned that I am fairly normal. I haven’t done any of the things I said I could have ^ up there. My kids, though not perfect, are turning out pretty normal. I can’t blame them for doing things I did, I wish they could learn from my lessons, but they are just like me and have to do things their way. I’m getting off topic. What I am getting at is everyone is messed up in some way, or some degree, and we all have ways of dealing with it. There are people I never thought would be where they are today (in a bad way), and I feel for them, but at the same time it makes me realize how normal I am and how well I turned out despite the stuff I’ve been through.