Disclaimer: I laughed when I typed “marriage advice.” If you know me, you can either argue that I’m a pro at it, or I should be the last person giving advice on marriage. I’m gonna go with I’m a pro…I’ve done it enough and have enough years in the ring.
Wow, 2 posts in one day! Don’t get used to this. D has gone to take a nap, because it’s Sunday and we’re not doing anything special today, so I was playing online and found some lists. I should tell you, I have a blackberry and in it there is a “post it note” application. It gives you the ability to make lists of things. My lists are “to do, shopping, groceries, movies, songs, allergies, cars I want…” stuff like that. I also bought a pad of post it notes, and glancing over to the computer desk, I see about 6 of them stuck to different things. I think D has a list thing too.
So, I like to read about marriage, and love, and couples and came across these lists (don’t click them yet, lemme talk first):
I read through the ways to love your husband first, and was happy to see that I TRY to do those things every day, or most days. I’ll admit I slack on some of them, and some I never thought of, and some I cringe to think I’ve never excelled at (and may not ever, sorry Baby).
I read the comments, and one poor girl doesn’t get it, and I’m sure she’s not alone. She felt that he “didn’t sugar coat things when she was wrong, so why should I?” Wow, been there. Those in unhappy marriages, or with a partner who, no matter how well you treat them, doesn’t know the meaning of “cherish” or “lift-up” – just won’t get the list. I’m sure they are wondering why the A-hole they are married to deserves to be treated right? My advice to those people would be that if you are doing this list, there is a shot…a small one…that your partner might realize how special you are and return the sentiment, if you are doing it out of a pure heart without the attitude of expected return. There is another chance though, that they won’t realize it and will still treat you in a way that is not what you want, or deserve or choose to live with. Both outcomes are good…it gives you a true feeling of what you are working with, allowing you to make an informed decision about what you can and can’t accept in your life.
The majority of the other comments were women – mostly Christian like myself, who understand that it’s not being suppressed, or 50’s, or putting my needs aside, it’s about the common goal. If I’m taking care of his needs, then he doesn’t have to and he can take care of mine…so I don’t have to. Again, I really don’t see where people have an issue with this. You did get married to be together and share life didn’t you?
As for me, and the lists, I am happy to report that we both do the things mentioned to some degree, and will continue to. In fact, he does more than is on the 100 Ways To Show Love To Your Wife Her Way. I also think he wrote the list. I lost count after 40 things off that list that he’s done, and does on a daily/weekly basis. I really wonder how I lucked out. He’s amazing. I’m blessed.
Now, go back and click each list and NICELY, if you must, share it with your significant other. Or just shut up and do your list and see how much of a difference just YOU can make.