I miss them. I have been working all day, taking care of the girls, cooking dinner, looking for things online, helping other people with stuff, keeping myself occupied, fighting off a 3 day migraine, yet all day I can’t help but think of how much I miss them. I think that was a run-on sentence, but it’s my blog so it’s ok.
The “them” I miss isn’t just the lips and toes that I’ve been kissing and watching and playing with and staring at while they sleep. The “them” is everything that came with those lips and toes. The cries, coos, burps, smiles, poots, dirty diapers, quiet moments staring at me, his best friend the ceiling fan, his smell (cookies, Johnson’s, and yum was how I explained it on my Facebook), I miss it all.
I didn’t realize how much I missed all things baby until he showed up last Friday. I hadn’t seen him for a month, and had only seen him for a day a month ago, but when he got here, and I held him, it was like he knew me and I knew I was toast. My house is now quiet, there are no diapers, toys, blankets, bottles, socks, Goodnight Moon, nose sucker…none of that.
My sister made the statement “There will be moments in each of our lives in which we are forced to let go of something that we wish to hold tightly with both hands.” I agree that it’s hard to send your children off and feel good that you raised them right and they can take care of themselves, but it’s so much harder to do that when they have one of their own to take care of too!
I can’t wait until they are back, and I can see him daily, and hold him. Once they move here later this month, the balance of being able to have our own space, and enjoy baby time (and send him home for a little while) is going to be wonderful. But until then, I miss the lips and fingers.