Sometimes you gotta take a break.

I don’t know if you noticed, but I had to close it down for a little while.  With lots of personal developments and nosey people eyes on things, I decided to take a step back and tighten up around here.  So, most things are back on track, and you can again view posts.

If you didn’t notice, then WELCOME!  Glad to have you:)

Home is where the heart is.

There’s a special occasion today, and for one day, I’m going to open up a bit about what it is I/we do…read on.

I have known, for years now, that my husband is amazing.   I have even blogged about it on a few occasions.  The times that I find myself thinking what a great husband and man he is are far more than the times I question his actions or intentions.  I’m not trying to imply that he’s perfect, as we all have our moments, but more often than not, to me, he is.

I don’t discuss business on here, but for those that don’t know, we work together from home.  It’s been a lifesaver when children are sick, or there are school functions, or when you just don’t feel like going to “work.”  For us it has blessed our marriage by allowing us to truly get to know each other and bond.  That bond translates to better parenting, better family ties, us being happier, and has allowed us to make a stronger team against outside forces.  We all face stress, trials, and attacks from the outside world and un-Godly forces, and the ability to be confident in your partner and know you have someone that has your back is the best gift you can give yourself and your spouse.  We often get questions ranging from “how do you spend ALL DAY together” to “do you really enjoy being around each other that much?”  The answer is the same from either of us…yes, most certainly.   My business partner respects me, backs me up with tough clients, steps in when I’ve had enough of someone, and is amazing in his work ethic and ability to land clients.   There is no one I’d rather spend all day with.

So, with that preface, I’m proud to announce that D has become a weekly blogger on a Christian website!  I am proud of him for being a provider and I’m proud that others view him as the strong business man, and man of God he is.  You will quickly see, in his writing, that he has a gift for words and conveying a message that hits home.  Please share it as we want him to have the opportunity to be a blessing to as many people as we can reach.  There is always the possibility that there are business minded people that want information, and if it’s presented in a Christlike manner two efforts can be accomplished in one manner.  The Christian Work At Home Ministries site is a great tool for learning about building business, working from home, and glorifying God in our lives.

So, with that introduction, please check him out at the link below, and be sure to follow us on Facebook and check back weekly at either link for his business blog entries!

Love those eyes…Oh, sorry. Serious marketing pic here.

Click here for his first post – What brought me home!

Submission…another blogger’s take.

You know I love talking about it, and I’ll admit that I’m not perfected at it, but it is my goal. Thought I’d share this blog post today, to show those that don’t “get it” that I’m not a rare breed…lots of us “get it.” This post focuses on the abuser, and how it is NOT the intent of submission.

http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2012/08/submission-doesnt-mean-lying-over-and-taking-it/

With a Chick Chick here…and no gay people anywhere…

EDIT:  As of 10 hours after posting this, it is my most read blog post ever…with no comments.  I know there are thoughts, and I encourage you to write them!

So guess what, I’m tired of it too, and this guy disagrees with me…but he’s right, and you should read it. All of it, even if you cringe at first.

http://www.owldolatrous.com/?p=288

Over the past week, I have eaten at CFA (and before), it’s not because I hate gay people, or because I want to “win” and prove that Christians have rights too, and it’s certainly not because they are healthy.  No one is winning here, and since I don’t personally have a dog in the fight, and would only be eating at CFA because they are “Christian” from now on, I see (from his words) that it’s not ok.

Whether it’s CFA’s doing, or the “Christian public” – this whole thing has been handled horribly by anyone wanting to stand up and show the world what Christians believe in and what we will rally for.  We rally for chicken?  We rally to show those gays that they are WRONG and we will put all our money into heart clogging food to prove that point?  We encourage a company that twice removes itself (from direct donation) so they can continue to say they aren’t discriminatory and homophobic?  I am not homophobic, I am also not discriminatory. CFA in it’s stores is also not discriminatory, however, as I’ve been told (that is the main argument from the “other side”) – they spend their well earned sandwich money on other organizations that clearly and proudly discriminate and even go further than that.

Is this you this week?

As a Christian, no, I don’t believe that marriage is defined by opposite sex partners, but I have that right.  That will not change, it’s my belief based on my own research and my own upbringing.  I also know for a fact that many of the “Christians” in major support of CFA would not be loving or nurturing or open to an openly gay couple that walked into their church.  I know first hand how judgemental Christians are.  Try being 16 and pregnant in a private school.  However, my beliefs are not what’s up for debate here and I really don’t care if you like my view or not.  However, I can change the way that those I do not agree with view my beliefs and my way of upholding them.

I said yesterday, that I can completely see the “other view” – there are lines around the building in every city, for chicken…where are the lines for the homeless shelters?  Where are the lines for the hospitals to hold babies addicted to drugs, or hold the hand of a person going through chemo?  Where are the Christians who want to make a real difference?  They’re in line for a sandwich.

Through none of this, would I, if I were gay or a non-Christian, feel loved, and ministered to.  I would not feel like going to church, or reaching out to anyone that is supporting CFA  or spouting “we’re winning” or that CFA is tops.   Ask yourself this, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ…at what point, if you were not a Christian, would you stop one of these Christians standing in line, posting pictures or shaking their fists up in victory to ask “why is it you are so happy and your life is wonderful and you have this spark?” I have not seen any Christian spark, not in myself and not in others that are so adamant about supporting CFA.  I have not seen the “light” that we are to shine among men.   I would do exactly as they have done, and fight back because they feel attacked.  Christians were not attacked, at any point in this, until we stood up to support CFA. Dan Cathy didn’t even attack, he stated what most of us Christians agree with and also believe, however he swept under the rug the part that is really making the “other side” upset.  The donations.  I’ve researched, the claims are correct, the organizations that CFA supports (indirectly down the line) are very discriminatory and even predatory on the gay community, and others that don’t agree with them.

It’s being touted that CFA stands up for “family values” – so does that mean your Christian family wants to eat unhealthy, and fall in with the crowd (as Christians we are called to be different and stand for what is right in the face of wrong). To me, wrong is pushing anyone further away from God. Does your family value pictures stating “we won” (over chicken) or do you want the non-Christian public to view you exactly like they view Westboro?  That is not what I want to support, nor how I want to bring others to Christ.

What I also will not be supporting is openly pro-gay companies that I disagree with.  Again, that is my choice, where I put my money.  There are tons of companies that I’m sure support things I do not agree with, as long as they aren’t singing it from the rooftops and I need their products, then not just me, but all of us are going to have to use them.  However, we should be aware that at any time, we may have to stop supporting them if they stand up and we disagree.

It is OUR duty as Christians to be a good example and love those that are not like us, and that aren’t our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Does it say we are to love only those that are receptive and take on our views?  NO.  As I’ve heard and seen on facebook, don’t judge others because they sin differently than you do.

Matthew 5:16 ESV

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

1 Peter 3:15 ESV

But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

Philippians 2:1-4 ESV

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ...

Did you read that last verse?  Read it again…and tell me…as a Christian, this past week, have you looked to the interest of others or your own?  As a Christian, I do not support gay marriage.  I support gay unions, and gay people, and I have no issues with them, they are part of my family, and I have been close friends for years with some very openly gay couples.  My beliefs have not changed, however my willingness to support the discrimination and vilifying of my friends and family has.

The men in my life.

Another Father’s Day and an opportunity to appreciate those that have raised us, loved us and provided for us, and continue to do so.  I am thankful to have some amazing men in my life, all with their own ways of loving the children they are fathers to.

My son is young, he (much like me) got a jump on parenting and began in his late teens.  I don’t think for a minute that he was ready or had a clue how much stress and love would be involved in having children at any age, much less as a teenager.  You always try to prepare your kids for things you’ve been through, and pray that they heed the warning that it was hard, or it sucked at times.  Even with those descriptions, they know the love you have for them and have shown them through those times, and that they made it through all your bad parenting decisions, and they don’t see it as such a bad thing.  I don’t view any of being a teenage parent as a “mistake” – it’s simply something beautiful done at the wrong time for most people.  We aren’t ready at that age, we don’t know everything we should, and we have no desire to listen to those that do know what we should do.  We are still children ourselves.  Through that, I raised an amazing son, and my amazing son, is raising his sons with the same love and trial and error I did.  He has learned a lot in the 2 years he has been a daddy, and as he makes choices and learns the consequences of them, he is learning that I was right…it’s not easy, but it is totally worth it.  It’s hard to watch him flounder and do things totally different than I would, just as I’m sure it was for my mom, but I am very proud of him, and the choice he has made to stand up and take responsibility for the children God has placed in his life.

I’ve never had a father in law like D’s dad.  It was a bit scary coming into a family with a preacher as your new father in law.  While we were dating, D’s parents came to Georgia while D stayed in North Carolina for work.  I vaguely remembered them from around school and church when we were little, but past that, there was no relationship and I had no idea “how” they were.  D assured me that they would love me, but I was still so scared to have them come visit me without him present.  So nervous, that before they came to visit, I changed my blue nail polish because I didn’t want his mother to think anything odd of me.  I had enough to offer without blue nails though…let’s see, 2 divorces – check, teenage son with a kid on the way – check, making his son drive 2 states away to date me – check…yeah, not good.  Except, it was.  In fact, I’ve learned from the entire family, that there is nothing that surprises them or takes them out of their comfort zone.  No family is perfect, and my imperfect background was nothing of consequence to him (or them).  His only requirement and concern about me was that I love Jesus and am a Christian, and that I love his son unconditionally and without reservation.  I am proud to be a part of his family and even more thankful that my husband had such a strong example of what a man is to teach him how to love and protect me, and how to love and raise our children.

My dad and I have something different than most people.  I don’t remember lots of the details of when my parents divorced.  I know things now that my mom has told me, or my sister, or that my dad has eluded to that he is not proud of having done.  I still don’t have a clear bone to pick with him since I didn’t have those feelings of anger/betrayal at the time things occurred.  I have held resentment for what he put my mother, my sister and me through later in life because of his decisions, and for not sticking to his pledge to love, honor, and cherish my mom.  However, we all make mistakes, sometimes they are small and just annoying bumps in the road, and sometimes they will forever effect our lives and the lives of those around us.  I can’t say that I’ve forgotten all the things I know about what happened, but I do forgive him, and now that he is willing to know about me and my life and I am witnessing him make an effort to be involved and talk to me, I find it much easier to have conversations with him without feeling like it’s just a formality.  My dad has had health issues lately, and after losing my mom, I don’t want to lose him and regret not being adult enough to move past any hurt feelings I have in order to show him love that we all deserve.  He is not perfect, but he made four amazing daughters who love him more than he probably realizes.

Last year on Father’s Day I talked about how amazing D is.  As the father figure in our children’s daily lives, he consistently loves, raises, cares for and does everything in his power to ensure that the children we have are aware of his love, and the expectations of them on their behavior and actions while learning and growing up.  It’s pretty hard to be a father to a child that chooses to walk a path that is not in line with how a child should be raised, but even through that hardship he has taken on 2 children that are not his biologically and treated them as his own.  He is under no requirement to be a parent to my children, however he does it happily, with grace and strength, and with God’s love and guidance on a daily basis.   It has allowed them to bloom, grow and learn to be comfortable with the man they have in their daily lives by trusting him, and knowing that he loves them when they are wrong and loves them when they are right.  There is nothing more special to a mother than having a man, that treats their children as they should be treated.  My life is much easier, smoother, and happier having a man that loves his family as selflessly as he does.

Happy Father’s Day to you all, you are all greatly and deeply loved!

What Makes A Dad

To submit…or not to submit (it’s really not a question, it’s a command).

Well, we all know I love talking about marriage, and submission/love.  It’s not that I dwell on it, but it always interests me to hear how other women view it.  There are so many women out there, married, single, Christian, non-Christian, happy, sad, all kinds that all have questions or have different variations on what they believe and practice when it comes to marriage vows/commandments in the Bible.

I’ve posted many blogs on it, if you haven’t read them here’s the links:
Husbands love your wives (more than just a little)
Submission…when he’s lovin’ you better be submittin’

This is what I think most women that don’t agree with submission view it as. Truth is, it’s much more than that.

Last time I posted a blog about it this conversation ensued on my FB page.  I’ve changed our real names, but it was with a friend who decidedly disagrees with me, at least that’s what I thought at first.  In the end, I realized that she’s been hurt before, and like most women, has changed her mind about how a marriage should work.  I am ever grateful that she opened up and allowed me to ask her some questions to further understand her.

• HERE WE GO! (It is edited for names, irrelevant content and length – yes, it was longer)
  • 

    MM I read your blog. I don’t disagree with what you are saying… but I don’t agree either. It could be that I was raised by hippies…. it could be that I have HUGE feminist viewpoints, or it could be that I’m just one big ol’ control freak. I’ve always felt that any partnership is equal.. with both parties pitching in, in all areas of the relationship. I truly don’t think I would ever be able to let go and just let someone lead me.
  • 

    Mel Our marriage is very equal – ask Big Daddy. I think most non-Christians feel like you do. I don’t even know if you are a Christian…I’m just going with what I hear(in your words)! As always, everything doesn’t work for everyone!
  • J What does Christian versus non-Christian have to do with it…did I miss something? And the term “Christian” is veryyyy subject to interpretation and some interpretations are quite interesting. I’m not arguing…I’m asking because I’m curious.
  • 

    MM you make a good point J. I’m not trying to argue either… just found it very interesting. oh, and I’m a christian.
  • J I’m not…but I promise I’m a long way from a heathen devil worshiper, too.
  • 

    Big Daddy Equality and submission are more closely linked than most would think. The christian vs non-christian is more of a point of view of the situation in general. Following biblical doctrine is why Mel is submissive. So if you don’t follow the teachings of the bible, your view point is completely different than her’s.  I actually seek her council on most everything, so it isn’t like I am “Lord of My Domain.” When she is submissive to me and I am submissive to God, then she is submissive to God through me. Believe me I always have her best interest in mind. Part of being submissive to God is having the best interest of her and the kids before any of my wants or desires.
  • 

    Mel Sorry, I’m not answering, I’m over here doing family tree! D can answer for me…not because he rules but because I’m busy:)  Or they could read the other post about your duty to God and me! http://justalittlemel.wordpress.com/2010/10/08/husbands-mine-especially-love-your-wives-not-just-a-little/Check that, his commandment is much harder in my view!
  • 

    Mel J, I say Christian/non-Christian, because it’s normally a huge difference if you don’t believe as a Christian does. It’s not any reference to who is better, simply the belief system/chain of command of a marriage is different between the two.
  • 

    MM Very interesting. I thank your husband for his input.
  • 

    Big Daddy If you really look at it, I am submissive to my family and especially my wife. The word seems to have a bad connotation, but anytime you put someone before yourself you are being submissive to their wants, needs and desires. It’s what we do every day for the ones we love. It’s an exchange of respect.
  • 

    Mel Not to mention, if you don’t want to read that other post…he has to love me…he’s commanded to. All the time, no matter what, even to the extent of making me happy and taken care of BEFORE himself. What’s not to like there? MM – I would love to ask you some things without offending you…just to hear your take – is that ok?
  • 

    MM Absolutely! go for it, and… for the record… my responses are not to offend anyone. Just my opinions.
  • 

    Mel YAY! OK. So most people I hear from on this topic are either:a) not Christian, which I think makes a huge different on how you view the household chain of command (God, husband, wife, kids)
    b) men who just want their wives to shut up and listen
    or
    c) Christian and agree with me.You stated you are a Christian and don’t see how you could let go and let someone lead you. I’d like to know what vows you used, and without sounding mean, did those include “love, honor, obey” or anything with biblical reference in your vows or how did you come to agree to vows to use in your ceremony? I guess what I’m asking is, being Christian, do you choose not to believe those verses (mentioned in the blog) or what’s your take on that part of the Bible? What do YOU view submission as, and how do you view the alternate command that your husband “love your wives as Christ did the church.” Do you feel your husband should love you that much, in the way that Christ did – dying for our sins?That’s pretty much it, I would also like to add, that when I was single and a mom, working full time, and doing everything…I felt VERY much like you. I couldn’t imagine letting go of the reins – nothing would have gotten done. I can make decisions, I can call all the shots, I can multitask, and I always think my way is the best way, we are women…it’s just how we are. That has not faded a bit! Someone said that women shouldn’t be submissive because when and if the husband ever leaves or dies she will have no clue how to handle life. I’ve been divorced and had a husband die…both not fun, but unless you are remedial, you can handle life. I have willingly given things to D that I used to stress over, or hate doing, or not want to do that I had to do…and now, I get to relax and enjoy life and things that I couldn’t before because I have a partner and husband that handles things for me. It’s quite freeing to not HAVE to handle everything!
  • 

    Mel Oooh girl…. I’m going to have to smoke first. give me a few minutes.
  • 

    Mel LOL, I hope that didn’t come across bad, I am truly asking. Just as many people don’t see how I or anyone could “agree” to submit, I want to know different views.
  • 

    MM Ok…. here we go!! Well… when I was married (getting a divorce I asked for) our vows said “to love and honor.”  I specifically omitted “obey” for a reason. See… we were originally going to get married in a catholic church. However, we had to do this like 500 question test thingy. In this test, it had as one of the questions “the MAN will be the head of the household…. agree or disagree” I not only circled disagree a 1000 times, I put “not a chance in hell.”  Of course, that got flagged by the priest. He asked me why. I told him what I told you earlier. He said what you said earlier. I said that I feel it should be 2 people working together to accomplish one goal. He said you can’t do that without leadership… I agreed and said God will lead us and together we battle the decisions. We got a letter later that week telling us the priest refused to marry us b/c I needed to prove to him “on a constant and continuing basis” that I was a good catholic. Yeah… that didn’t go so well for me. I have a sailor’s mouth… but I digress.  In my opinion, the Bible is viewed differently by each person who reads it. Take for instance some of the Morman’s believe that polygamy is not only the right thing to do…but the ONLY way… and God’s way. While having another gal around the house to do the cleaning and laundry would rock… I couldn’t see my husband sleeping with another woman. EVER. I’m too jealous for that. So, to them, I’m not living the way of God.
  • 

    Mel Again, just asking questions here, and if it’s not something you wanna answer say so, and D said to make sure you know I’m not questioning your “Christian-ness” at all. I’m asking what you believe. Also, if you’d rather answer NOT on here, I’d be fine talking in PM. Got it, was it THAT guy or just anyone in general you don’t feel is “qualified” to be the head besides you? Where does your belief that it’s ok NOT to agree with the man as the head come from? Meaning do you feel there is some biblical backup for what you believe?I agree with what you said, 2 people under God’s leadership – hence what I said about if I didn’t like how D handled something I have backup…he has to be in line with God, and if he’s not, I go to God, I can go OVER D’s head. I guess it comes down to what you feel you can handle as a couple, and what you are ok with, I’ve just never known a Christian woman that openly said she didn’t agree with the verses, so thank you for letting me ask:)  I totally love Sister Wives…we watch it every week and on Netflix. I see an issue with that though, where Kody has said that he thinks it’s sickening and vile to imagine one of his wives with multiple husbands…really? However, that is their belief system, I also don’t believe in the book of Mormon, so I don’t know what it says but I do know what the Bible says, and Catholic or Baptist (or whatever) we use the same Bible…that has the same verses, so I wanted to know the…um…justification for not agreeing with it on the submission part.
  • 

    MMMy husband took me for granted.. practically ignored me and I spent 12 years of my life trying to make it work b/c I do (or did) not believe in divorce. I signed up for this deal. I prepared to share my life with someone forever. I spent 12 years feeling more alone in a marriage than I did when I was single. So… as hard as it was for me… I left him. Shortly after. I met a most amazing man. He loves me, my kids and we take amazing care of each other. I believe God put him in my path. Is our situation ideal? Hell no. Would have this been the path I chose for myself? Hell no. However… I feel because I didn’t just submit and resign myself to “this is my life” and submit to my husband… I was given a new lease on life. I feel as if I tried every avenue with my husband to make it work, to make us (or should I say myself) happy. I guess that’s how I feel about the submitting to your husband thing. I feel that doing so…. you can loose a part of yourself by working so hard to please someone else. I feel I lost a bit of ME by trying so very hard to get him to be pleased with me. (which… I’m a HUGE people pleaser by nature and that’s not always a good thing).

    Now that I’m with this new person… I “spoil” him as I call it. He’s treated like a king. And equally, I’m treated as a queen. However… if we were to ever get married, I’m positive we would do things as a team. I want as much input as he does. And no one gets the final say. Not that I don’t trust him. I feel that we are both walking down this path together and we can both show each other the flowers and amazing things that we each see from our sides of the road. I want to learn from him and vice versa. I don’t feel that can happen if one person has the final say… even if it’s been discussed first. I’m sure a lot of that has to do with my upbringing. My parents discussed everything together. They also weren’t really into the whole religion thing. Ever really. (as a side note… I ALMOST became a nun. For real.) So, my examination of the bible tells me that what I do for my boyfriend is how I should be doing it. That’s my interpretation.
  • 

    Mel We are very alike. I was in a relationship for 9 years, married for the last 3…he was a non-Christian and did not exhibit any type of leadership besides “you should do what I say.” I did not submit simply because he did not lead…had he led and not just demanded I do what he said, it would have been fine. I did all I could to make that marriage work, in the end he chose to try to cheat…I left. I do not allow anyone to treat me bad, there is no excuse for it. I met D, and we clicked immediately. He was a gift from God. (See ,we are alike) However, I was most ready and able to submit because D leads because he is led. He does not simply sit around telling me to clean and cook him dinner and shut up. He provides guidance and we together provide a happy home. I know happy homes can be achieved in other situations than ours. I feel like I gained back SO MUCH OF ME, because I am free to be me with D…and know I am loved through all of my “me-ness.”  Thank you for your insight! I wish you all the best in your marriage, and encourage you to step a little outside and see if it could be even better with the good man you have now!  Don’t be offended, but I think you have a submissive heart and don’t want to label it as that. There are not any differences in you and me through what you have said, except I admit to agreeing with the verses. I can’t tell you how many times my idea is the one we go with after talking about something. More often than not, D says “you know, you are right, I think this is how we should handle ____.” And it was my idea! We council each other. Submission has nothing to do with him having the “last word.” It’s about how I act/react to him.
  • 

    MM I’m a hell of an enigma. But I LOVE talking about this. It is interesting and I get to learn something about others! I think my reactions depend on the person I’m with. And I definitely don’t do labels. Except freaking AWESOME. Just because I am. ‎(and it takes a LOT to offend me)
  • 

    Mel Me too! I really don’t see one bit of difference in our relationships or even our backgrounds (I was raised strict Baptist – no pants, no rock music). I think that there are some women, like yourself, who don’t truly “get” the submit and what it means. Or have been through a bad relationship and use that. You can ask anyone to describe me…headstrong and bossy is top of the list. D calls it “forceful opinions.”
  • 

    MM  ROFL… I call it “my way or the highway.”  The only tattoo I have I got when I was 19. It’s a yin yang. It’s suiting for me. It shows balance, equality and that’s how I feel about all of my relationships.
  • 

    Mel So, that is why I say I don’t think people “get it” it’s not about being shy, quiet, meek and mild…it’s about how to treat him and how he treats you. Also, to reference your post about your ex – I said it in the blog, and an old blog…you are not responsible to submit to someone who is devastating you. It is not a commandment to suffer. When you are with a man who looks to God, and loves you so much that he does everything for YOUR good and your betterment…there is no suffering or devastation. As I said, D is here as an extension of God’s love for me, he takes care of me in a human capacity as he is led by God. To me that is just amazing and I don’t get how someone could not want that?

I will say that I feel, after reading again and again (for editing), that my main question was not answered.  I’d love some input and answers from those that feel willing to do so.

My question is: if you are a Christian, and choose NOT to like/believe/live by/adhere to the submission part of your marriage, how do you justify that?  How do you just ignore those verses?  Also, do you feel your husband should love you as he is commanded to, if you do not believe in submission?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Knit the knits, purl the purls…AKA flip it and do the opposite of what you just did!

It’s been a while since I blogged about something fun or about something not so serious. So, since I’m in the middle of a Christmas rush to fill orders (and get some more orders) I thought I’d post about knitting.  I blogged a while back when I was learning and it’s almost been a whole year.  I’ve learned so much and really enjoyed making things for people and now things to sell!  There’s always been a thrill of shopping for me and with all the colors and types of yarn, it’s totally enough to keep me on a shopping high without breaking the bank.  On top of that, I’ve been able to fund my Christmas shopping and start that already from making things for others!  If you don’t knit, and are interested in checking out what I have or ordering something in time for Christmas visit my album HERE and comment on what you want!

Today, I wanted to change it up a little and help out those that are looking for a fast pattern, or a scarf a day type thing.  It was so frustrating to read patterns when I first started and have no idea what it meant.  I saw the pretty scarf, I read the comments “so easy, it looks beautiful, took me less than a day” and thought, yeah, right – you lie.  With much google and youtube help I found some wonderful tutorials and great knitters that explain it all for you.  I’ll link to them at the end.  There were still very few truly easy patterns for things that look like you know what you’re doing when you haven’t figured it out yet…enter me, I’m here to help you through that awkward phase!

I’m going to use mixture of knit speak and normal speak (so if you don’t knit, you’ll understand) and I’m going to share a few VERY easy patterns that are my go to patterns.  I don’t even want to consider them patterns, they are basic stitches put together to make something very easy and pretty.  These are for when you have mastered garter stitch and want to make something less “stock” looking.  For a full listing of patterns I like and use, please check me out on Ravelry if you have an account there.  If not, and you knit or crochet – get one!  It’s the best place I’ve found to keep track of projects and stash.  If you are interested in knitting, or learning, or need help, leave a comment and I’ll get you started!

First up is a simple and fast thin ribbed scarf.  It is best for Bulky (THICK, think straw/lipliner size), or larger than what we consider “normal” yarn.  This would usually take me about 3 hours from start to finish and range in length from 5-7 feet. I usually use 1 skein (1 ball) of any yarn that has 70-120 yards and do the following:

• Use size 11, 13 or 15 needles.  Usually the larger the yarn, the larger needle I use to allow loftiness
• CO 12 (or 14)
• 1st row: K1, P1 across the row (K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P1)
• 2nd row: P1, K1 across the row
• Repeat until you have about 2 feet of yarn left and then BO
• Weave in ends (or tie)
• If you want fringe, I suggest you cut 24 pieces before you start…

Here is what your knitting will give you if you follow those directions! Notice it looks like stockinette stitch but does not roll on the edges since it is a K1, P1 rib.

THICK 12 stitch scarf!

Purple and Green

Ok, on to the next one!

Second and last for today I’m going to share my most popular scarf.  Both due to the yarn and the feel of the pattern it is knit in, it is my personal favorite and the one everyone picks up and says “ohhhh, I love this!”  It’s a tad more pattern-y than the first one.

The best yarn to use is anything “bumpy” and bulky.  My go to is Lion Brand Homespun or Michaels Loops and Threads Country Loom (and if anyone from corporate at these companies is reading, yes, you can send me a sample box of yarn…I will totally do a review of it!).  Ok, they are 185 and 104 yards each skein.  If you choose the Michaels you’ll need 2 skeins.  This took me 2-3 weeks at first to make one, and now I’ve got it down to less than a week if it’s the only thing I’m working on.  Let’s do it:

• Use size 11, 13 or 15 needles (I have made a scarf with each size, they are equally soft and pretty, to me it doesn’t matter, I just use what needles are free at the time)
• CO 20 (you can do more in sets of 2, but I’ve tried many combos and with the loft and pattern, 20 works best, trust me)
• Now this is the (only) tricky part, Count out a pattern evenly, like this K2, P3, K2, P2, K 2, P2, K2, P3, K2 OR whatever one you want.  That is what I use, because it allows the ribs on the outside (P3) to help keep the scarf open, yet keeps the ribs uniform.  Regardless, I would stick with 2/3 sets of stitches or you will make it too big and not have enough ribs for it to look fluffy
• Each time you flip, you will Knit the ones you just Purled, and Purl the ones you just Knit on the previous row.  (Check out the next paragraph for more help) This is also the “knit the knits and purl the purls” you hear very often.  It just means that what you see on your needle facing you now, is what you do this time, so if you see a purl (bump) facing you as your next stitch, then you will purl that stitch and if you see a knit (V) you will knit that stitch.
• Do that until you have about 2 feet of yarn left and BO
• Weave in ends (or tie)
• Again, if you want fringe, you can cut those before starting…or if you feel lucky (and want to get really mad at yourself with 9 inches of yarn left and 7 fringes to make) then guesstimate how much yarn you will need for fringe and BO early

This is what this pattern has created!

My first scarf in this pattern…for me. Hate to say it, but yes, the bathroom has the best lighting in my house!

In Winter White (with LONG fringe)

In Lagoon

Fringe in Christmas Red

Closeup of ribs

Here is one I did with 3 ribs…I personally don’t like it, so I’m showing it so show the difference the count/pattern effects this yarn.

To clarify a few things that confused me at first here are a few tips.  Each time you turn your work (flip the part you just finished and switch needles) you will Knit the Knits, and Purl the Purls – which means, if you purled the last stitch of the previous row, it is now your first stitch of this new row, and it will be a knit on the opposite side.  If you want to know more, comment below and I’ll explain in more detail about Right Side (RS) and Wrong Side (WS).  Or you can check out the links to Knitted Oaks whose tutorials on her Youtube channel were and still are a lifesaver!  She has such a calm way of speaking and clearly explaining what you don’t think you understand.

Hope that helped someone!  As I said, if you need help, I love talking about knitting and teaching others about it, so leave a comment or find me on Ravelry!

~Mel